I climbed up on to a rock about
4 metres high. I was told I had to
lean across to the main rock and
climb on to it. This made me very
frightened. I did not want anyone
else to know how I felt, but I let
my fear show and burst into
tears. Normally when I do this I
either get told to "grow up!" and
"stop crying". or people try to
persuade me it does not matter if
I did not do something. Another
reaction was to try and make me
laugh so I cheered up. Last of all
have the task done for me. This
was not the case here, my crying
did not have the effect I was
expecting; I was accepted where I
was. I was not let off and
encouraged to calm down and told
again to lean across the gap. The
longer I waited the worse it got. I
wanted someone to carry me
across. I was not prepared to
make the effort on my own. No
help came. I had a safety harness
and had some support, so after
what seemed like ages (probably
20 minutes) I leant across on my
own; I was glad I had succeeded.
I had enough faith and trust in
that person to manage it. They
had not rejected me but trusted
me.
When I returned I seemed to be
more confident. Certainly I was
able to do crosswords more than
I was able to before.
When I was eighteen I met Steve, my future
husband. He started to come to the church I went to
on a Sunday. It was my mother who first pointed
him out to me; he had just bought a new suit and he
looked smart. He took me to the cinema and
afterwards of all things he took me to a pub!
At that time banks still had to work New Years Day and so
I had to go to work. When I returned on the train that
evening Steve was waiting for me. He told me he had had
a dream that God was telling him he was going to marry
me. I was shocked and scared. I could not believe God
would speak to him about me; nor could I believe someone
could love me that way. I clammed up and felt I did not
want to be with him any more so I split up with him. We
were still friends but I certainly did not want to marry him.
Over the next couple of years God was still working in me
and I finally agreed to get married to Steve. He had a
calling to London which is what I had too; it confirmed to
me it was the right place to live.
The Bank I worked for had a scheme to help
team building and offered staff to go on a
month of activities in the Welsh countryside. I
loved the countryside and put myself forward. I
had to have several interviews but after
everything I was selected. This was a national
scheme and included girls from the police and
other banks.
I was the only one from my bank so I travelled alone on
the train. I passed the time on the journey by doing
crosswords, which I could not do very much, but when I
returned I was able to do more. One of my memories at
the time I wrote down:
My faith and my work
My husband Steve
I now work for a charity as a community artist and adminstrator working with local east end folk of different
nationalities. I thoroughly enjoy it and now lead classes of my own passing on the printing, photography,
computer and hand sewing skills I have learned. Recently God has spoken to me again saying He wants to
lead me on further and fullilling the purposes He has for me.
